Finally! Considering professional basketball is the only sport that a team from my state does well in, consider me excited! The sad part is that this whole mess had to occur in the first place. I mean I feel so terribly bad for the NBA players AND their owners. It must be a huge burden for them to find new places to put all their money because, as we know, we’re running out of land. Maybe they should put them in some underground locker reserved only for millionaire athletes! That’s the ticket! Don’t you see? They were just like the rest of us economically scrimping Americans! I mean they were out of a job! Just like us! It’s a shame none of them took their talent somewhere else such as Hollywood, where one could star in a body-swapping movie with Brandon T. Jackson! Oh, the pain, the agony! The billionaires who were billionaires before buying NBA teams must assuredly be living out of a cardboard box! Mark Cuban doesn’t own ANYTHING else besides the Mavericks and has NO other way to make money. I insist we start GOBM, a charitable organization that Gives Our Billionaires Money! I don’t know what to say. This is Shakespearean tragedy at its finest. But who is Claudius?